Hair today, gone tomorrow

Today I did something very brave.  I had all of my hair chopped off.  After many years of being below shoulder length long it is now short and sort of styled.  Not short like a boy though, but a lot shorter than I have had it before as an adult.  And I rather like it.  Immediately it felt right.  I have a breeze on my neck and it feels a lot lighter.  I can still tie bits of it back so can benefit from pretty clips and the like, which all girls regardless of age LOVE, even if they don't all admit it.

So, why have I done this?  Well, in part I must confess it is due to the fact that the Chemo which kicks in tomorrow may now make my hair thin or fall out.  This is not a guaranteed side effect, but I thought it better to be prepared and so at least this way, there will be shorter bits to block the plug holes.  Hopefully, it won't happen, but if it does it will grow back so I am not worried about it as such, I just wanted to be ready just in case. But mainly the reason for the big chop, was about making a liberating change.  I bounced out of the hairdressers salon today and felt very perky all afternoon.  Even when I realised I had seriously misjudged how much medication I had left and have limited opportunities to get hold of any more in time, I am not as bothered as I think I would have been say a week or so ago. Maybe, as opposed to that tall chap Goliath, my hair was weighing me down rather than giving me strength, and so by cutting it off I have given myself a second wind.

I have also been reading a brilliant book, leant to me by a friend, by a lady called Louise Hay.  She is a fantastic advocate and practioner of positive thinking and has taken her own practices many steps further and so as well as thinking positive thoughts today and in the future, she talks about how you can undo the impact of any negative thoughts or resentment in the past which may be holding you back and manifesting as illnesses or issues in the present.  It may sound a bit odd, to those who have not experienced much about the powers of the mind before, but it all makes perfect sense when you read it. 

So, to my mind my new short hair is a tangible demonstration of my willingness to release the past and focus positively on the future, and this may explain why I feel so light and unconstrained on this fine October evening. They also say, that the night is at its darkest just before dawn, and I so given tomorrow is a big day in my world, I think it is a fair reflection to say that the first rays of dawn are just creeping over my horizon. And what better way to start a new day that with a fabulous new hairdo.