A renewed energy

So, I am now officially over 2/3 of the way through the planned chemotherapy programme having made it through four complete sessions now. Woo hoo! This is quite an achievement, especially given how terribly round three played out, which meant I was quite nervous as we started round four, especially with the added complication of a fault with my Borg port which delayed things by 2 days. Anyway, these hurdles and anxieties were overcome and I'm happy to report that I am now on the other side of round four and starting to get more energy and appetite which is a big step forward in the very rightest of directions.

This week aside from sleeping I managed to be awake enough for a visit from my very good friend Jimbo (of the jet set fame). For a boy he is not that bad at keeping in touch but we were quite appalled to realise that we hadnt actually seen each other properly since his wedding to the lovely E, which was nearly 4 years ago.... Terrible. We do speak quite regularly through the technological marvel that is Skype normally whilst he is bored on a night stop somewhere in America and texts and emails flow occasionally, but to have not spent any time face to face for long seems wrong, however as is the case with any true friend it really doesn't matter as from the second he walked in the front door this afternoon to the moment he left early this evening, we were chattering about everything and everything as if we were picking up from yesterday's tea party. It was a lovely afternoon. As well as being great company Jimbo also kindly offered to and empty the dishwasher and made tea, in addition to arriving armed with cupcakes to start with.  Plus, the first thing he said when opening the cupboard to make the tea was "what lovely mugs" on spotting a fine selection of Emma Bridgewater, so I was smiling from the off really.

And it has not just been one friendly angel who has visited me this week. Whilst i was having chemo on Friday the old goat came along for a few hours to keep me company after having had the new port put in and then having to have a full day of chemo on the hospital ward rathercthan in the day care centre. She always manages to make me laugh and so made what could have been a very dull and miserable afternoon into something quite fun. Then, in yesterday's quagmire of sleep requirement coupled with the dazedness and confusion normally associated with the post chemo haze, I had an urgent need for food and no way of getting anything suitable. One text to the brilliant G later and I soon had several cans of fruit to provide me with the necessary sustenance to sustain my self out of bed, and begin the long climb back from ball of exhausted mush, to real human being.  And then last night, my batteries ran out suddenly and I couldn't muster the energy to do anything, least of all finish changing the sheets on the bed which i had started in the afternoon. This might not seem much but given how important regular clean sheets are to me this, tied with my general frailty and lack of motivation to move caused me to have a bit of a patheticness attack, when Lil' Sis responded to my cry for help and spent her evening feeding me spoon peaches, sweet tea and most importantly put clean sheets on my bed so I could have as restful a nights sleep as possible.  So although I am still tired and in the post chemo haze where I loose myself mid sentence, get a bit confused when trying to do more than one thing at once, I am starting to come through it and sat nights good sleep really helped. 

Today's happy thought therefore is that these individuals have all delivered support and assistance to me in my hour of need, and all three have contributed to my recover in this cycle.  From talking to the old Goat,Jimbo, G and Lil' Sis I also realised that in the abyss of chemo and the distress of the last cycle i have lost track a little of what positive really looks like. It has therefore reminded me that the need to be positive has to be specific and so I am focussing on two key positive thoughts at present; I am healthy; I am pain free.  Please join me in manifesting these happy, positive thoughts to make them  a reality as soon as possible. That way we can all get back to normal and I can get back to making tea for visitors in my home rather than the other way round!!